Daily Trojan - April 26, 2001 Peace, Love, Empathy by RAYMOND LEW This is for you. Speaking from the tongue of a bitter New Jerseyan who would rather be emasculated, infantile and complain-y...this note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from recent college graduates over the years, and this is my first introduction to the, shall we say, reflection of four years at USC. I haven't felt the excitement of attending classes along with really spending time on campus for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things; for example, when I'm at work and people ask what it feels like to be in college...it doesn't affect me in the same way that it does for so many first-year Trojans, who seem to love and relish the love and admiration of being at USC, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you—any one of you...it simply isn't fair to you or to me. The worst crime I can think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as though I'm having 100 percent fun. Sometimes I feel as though I should be learning something every time I set foot on campus. I've tried everything in my power to appreciate it, and I do...God believe me, I do. But it's not enough. Despite my ongoing criticism of our university, I am truly thankful for my time spent here at USC. I appreciate the fact that I have affected and entertained a lot of people, but more importantly, that they have done the same for me. I appreciate the happenstance that students I have known for only 30 minutes can have as much of an impact as those I have known for a couple of months...or those I have known for my entire stay at USC. I marvel at the fact that I remember very little of what has occurred during the past four years...yet can spend hours on end thinking about it. I must be one of those nostalgics who appreciates things only after they've gone and passed. I'm too sensitive of a person...I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I had when I first came to USC. Over the past few weeks, I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I've encountered and all the wisdom I have taken in during the course of four years. Yet there is not one major event, occurrence or opportunity that stands out in my mind when I reflect upon my college experience. And just when I feel as if I should be beginning my college career, my time at USC comes to an end. I will remember more faces than names...more acquaintances than friends...and more feelings than actual experiences. I have it good...very good, and I'm grateful. But if I could do one thing differently, I wish I could have kept in better touch with people over the years, rather than discarding familiars at the end of each semester. Then again, most of my college experience has been outside of the classroom, so maybe this is an opportunity to start anew. Same scenario...but instead of having different classes, we have different jobs. At least that's what I like to tell myself. Thank you from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your support during these four years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody person to appreciate the college life and I don't have the passion anymore. I am moving on to the music industry and if it is even half as fulfilling as my time at USC has been, then I will be all the more grateful. So remember...it's better to leave after four years than to stay here forever. Fight on, Ray Copyright 2001 by the Daily Trojan. All rights reserved. This article was published in Vol. 142, No. 67 (Thursday, April 26, 2001), beginning on page 15 and ending on page 20.